WTFITS

What the fuck is this shit?

It was another slow day in Curse. I had set up a camp, but there wasn’t any traffic, so I took it down after a few hours. I played around with different fits in my hangar, made a sandwich, and goofed off. I decided that I ought to try out my new Astero (an I’ve-got-some-extra-ISK-and-room-in-a-JF-run-from-Jita purchase).

Hmm, let’s see.

Special Ability:

  • Can fit Covert Ops Cloaks and Covert Cynosural Field Generators

Amarr Frigate Skill Bonus:

  • 4% bonus to Armor Resists

Gallente Frigate Skill Bonus:

  • 20% bonus to Drone hitpoints

Role Bonus:

  • 100% reduction in CPU requirement for cloaks
  • 37.5% increase Scan Probe Strength
  • +10 Virus strength to Relic and Data Analyzers

Sweet. I rig it for drone damage. Throw a cloak and expanded……………….fuck. No, you can’t fit an expanded launcher on it (WTF?) and still have anything else on the ship. My freaking Helios has better CPU. OK, just a Sisters Core Launcher, AB, Data and Relic (?) analyzers (one offline) and some armor resists. Nice tank. Good drone DPS.

So, off I go. Now, I haven’t done any site for…well, years. I haven’t had the need. Evidently some things have changed.

I do know about how the D-scanner automatically tells you if there is an anomaly in the system or not. I check around and find a dead-end system with a few. I launch probes, cloak up, and fairly quickly nail both sites: a relic and a data. Now, someone has told me that they can tell what is what just by the “strength” of the site in the original d-scan check. Whatever. I’m not going to do this on a full time basis.

I make the first site (I can’t remember if it was the data or relic first…doesn’t matter for storytelling). I nuzzle up to one. I’m alone in system, so d-scan paranoia isn’t necessary yet. I look to be assaulted anytime soon. I access the first can…wait for it….

Nothing. Hmm. Maybe the spawn will show up when I crack the can.

Umm…a game of some sort pops up. WTF is this? I quickly hit the Google and read up on what I am supposed to do….OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I play the “mini game”. I do well enough to get this spewing of stuff. I grab what I can and find I grabbed a bunch of shit. Crud. I read that use of a ship scanner will tell you what you can get beforehand. Only 3 slots on the Astero: would require a mobile fitter, which is just something else to get probed down.Ok, there is 4 slots. I forgot I had something else in the mids. Data, Relic, Cargo scanners plus AB fit ok. My bad.

WTF happened to this? Yes, the chance try of getting something was a bit of push-buttoning, but who really was complaining? This game thing is stupid. A chance on a chance on a chance on a …oops, I screwed up: it blowed up. Fuck.

The Astero is an expensive piece of hangar candy. Oh yeah, no NPC to shoot you at sites anymore. Why even bother having drones on a “dedicated” exploration machine? The cov-ops are so much better for this, minus the tank to try and survive interdictor camps.

And the loots? Well, they sucked. Maybe eight or nine million ISK out of two sites. I don’t know their “level”, but I was in null, so the return should be tops. Guess not.

Now, I really don’t know what I am doing with exploration. I used to. CCP has changed it for no reason. And the can spew is the most retarded thing I’ve ever seen. Well, almost.

The most retarded is the ESS, the “Electronic Surveillance System”. An idiotic way to earn ISKies that you used to earn by ratting. What? Yeah, CCP reduced NPC bounties by 10% across the board in null. Now, you can kill an extra rat for every 10 you kill to counter this, so the rat bots out there only lost about 10% efficiency. It just screws us human ratters.

To close the 10% gap, we have the ESS. It is an anchorable device that, once anchored, reduces payouts to 80% (that’s 80% pre 90%…following this?), storing the difference. The stored difference is kept and can be available to anyone who accesses the device. Of course, you can share the ISK by hitting “Share”, but there is a “Take All” option, where you can take the ISK…wait, it isn’t ISK, per se, but rather tags.

Still following this convoluted bullshit?

From the Devidiot-

  • Encounter Surveillance Systems are sold directly from the navies of the empires. For instance, the Gallente ESS is sold in Federation Navy stations. The retail price is around 30 million. Stat wise, all the ESS structures are identical. The only difference is what kind of ISK tags they drop. – This means you need to make sure you have the right unit for the right tags.
  • Only one ESS can be active in a system at any given time. – good. God forbid everyone has their own.
  • An ESS cannot be deployed close to stations, stargates or starbases. The minimum range from these structures is several 100 kilometers. – Why not? You wouldn’t have to bother scanning for them. Why not make it NOT ON GRID WITH ANY COLLIDABLE OBJECT, fools. Make it work to hide and find.
  • An ESS can only be deployed in Null Sec. – well, supposedly. They currently (not after today) are deployable in Wormholes. But, that created a problem because you could anchor one at a wormhole entrance and it would broadcast in local anyone within the 15km radius warp field. HAHA. WH guys get fucked.
  • It takes 60 seconds for a deployed ESS to become active. As with the other mobile structures, the anchoring and onlining is a single action. – Except mobile warp disruptors, which are two actions. Get it right, CCP.
  • The ESS has a global beacon, meaning it will be visible by all players, allowing them to warp directly to it. Note that the new scan-block deployable does not interfere with this. – Why not? Goes against deploying them next to stations. Shit, deploy them in stations for all the good they’ll do.
  • The ESS has around 150.000 Hit Points (ca. 90000 structure, and 30000 each in armor and shield). – meaning: blap fleets in null, already the bane of other deployables, have found a new target.
  • The ESS can be scooped up by the owner of the ESS (the player that deployed it). –so?
  • Destroying or scooping the ESS will not affect the system-wide pool. That is only affected by successfully accessing the ESS and choosing to Share or Take all. The system wide-pool stays intact and becomes available again when another ESS is deployed. – another convoluted, nonsensical scheme. Do I need to carry one around and check each system to see if it has some spare ISK in its computerized system (maintained where? This obviously isn’t canon).
  • The payout level of an ESS is reset if it is destroyed, scooped or when it is accessed and the system-wide pool is distributed. – meh
  • The current payout level of the ESS is visible in the name of it, and can thus be seen anywhere in the system. –STUPID. Make them go to it and force the risk. STUPID.
  • The ESS has a warp bubble with a radius of 15km. Warping to the ESS brings you to the edge of the bubble. This warp bubble has exactly the same functionality as a normal one. –Nope. Nullified ships will be affected.
  • Whenever a ship warps to the ESS, a broadcast is made in local informing everyone in the system that player X is in the vicinity of the ESS. This triggers even if the approaching ship is cloaked. STUPID. Why cloak? Should broadcast WHEN SOMEONE IS WITHIN THE 2500 ACCESS RANGE. One of the purposes is to “bring fights”….in null…nevermind….more fights if you have a chance to get in and out quickly.
  • Anyone can access an ESS, not just the owner. – part of the ludicrous plan.
  • When a player accessing an ESS has chosen whether to Share or Take all, everyone that contributed to the pool receive a notification of the choice made. This notification includes the name of the player that accessed it. –so?

So, who does this benefit? The solo ratter in NPC null? Nope. The whole idea in ratting is that 1. You’re in a ratting/missioning fit ship. That is, one that’s NOT setup for PvP. 2. Since you’re in a poor PvP ship, YOU DON’T PvP. You try to remain as innocuous as possible. No way in hell I’d put one up and broadcast it.

Ok, does it help gang missioning? Nope. Again, you are trying to avoid confrontation. Yes, you could amass monies in a quiet system, matching what you USED to get, but obvious missioning is obvious.

Does it help entrenched SOV alliances? YOU BETCHA. Not only can they take advantage of the 105% payout, they also get faction goodies. Yuhp, nothing like not having to go to Empire to earn faction stuff. This module was specifically designed for the deep, well protected alliance ratters.

If CCP wanted the “GF”, they would have made it available in all of EVE. Anyone taking from someone’s deployable is an instant criminal and can be shot. NOW, you’d get some fun fights that way. There would be one in every system, griefers jerking off. /sarcasm . No, it is just a horrifically bad idea anywhere.

I don’t understand CCP. They’re creating content that is useless for the vast majority and, well, just the most fucked up mechanics I’ve seen. CCP can’t fix SOV mechanics, so why create more screwed up ones? Why create content that just isn’t fun, meaningful, follows canon, or benefit the majority of the EVE population?

Do CCP devs really play their own game? Why does League of Legends seem to be greener pastures for devs? They know EVE is dying due to shit updates like Rubicon (and the ones before it). Remember at one time we were to “walk in stations”?

Look, I don’t need any more reason to broadcast myself in a ratting area. I don’t need to play Myst every time I get bored enough to explore (which the Rubicon expansion was ALL about). I want new ships, new experiences, and reinforcement of the game as is.

I don’t need this….shit.

-Ze

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